all i got left are the words that you said
by Citylights at Midnight
Summary: "It didn't take anything short of a few minutes of leaving the house to realize that I had made a huge mistake." / Ross wishes he would've stayed. / Raura one-shot based on "Stay With Me"


*Heard It On The Radio music starts playing* WHAT UP?!

I honestly have had this idea ever since I was talking to my friend on what "Stay With Me" was about and well, I haven't written in a while anything that I think could actually be published on here but hey, it's my first time (publishing, not writing) Raura so let's see what comes from this shall we?

**Disclaimer: If I owned Austin & Ally, THEY WOULD HAVE EFFING ESKIMO KISS BY NOW.**

**And if I owned "Stay With Me" I WOULD'VE RELEASED THAT AS A SINGLE, or maybe not, don't want to have law suit issues with Sam Smith.**

* * *

She stands alone in a corner, just looking at everything and taking everything in for the last time; or what could be the last time. We're not sure yet.

But she looks so beautiful, the colored lights on her pale skin transforming her but she's still the beautiful girl in a purple dress while wearing converse.

I walk over to her, because I think it's time that I convince myself that it could really be now or never.

Overthinking tends to ruin my game all the time so I down the rest of my soda and slam the plastic cup as hard as I can, causing it to fall over as I walk away.

She seems me and smiles, the song changes and it's an old song that makes most of the crew go dance on the floor, cheering and whooping. I wrap my arm around Laura's shoulders and let out a small "Woo!" in agreement; Laura laughs and wraps her arms around my waist as well

"How's it going?"

"Fine, I'm a little tired, and sad, but most of all happy." Her eyes seem to drop a little and I agree on her with being tired, filming all day with all the pressure and the constant thought that it was all ending exhausted a person so much.

"You're always so positive." I smile and start playing around with one of the little tendrils of hair that the hair department had styled for the outfit. She smiles and sways a little to the music, I breathe in and swallow before I speak "Hey, I kind of need to talk to you."

She looks at me worried before nodding and I take her hand and we both quietly walk away from the loud party which was the only thing that could possibly distract us from truth, but it was too late, it was still going to happen, and I wasn't going to chicken out this time.

Coincidentally I drag her out to the stage where they were taking the Sonic Boom set, Laura looks around silently with wide eyes as we both painfully take in how empty it looks with all the little toys and gadgets already packaged and the giant A missing from the wall.

"What did you need to talk to me about?" She looks at me in the eye and my heart feels like it's beating from my stomach as it thrums in my ears as well.

"This could be the last day," I gulp, rubbing my hands together "I don't want to lose you."

"Ross," she breathes, "You're never going to lose me, we might just be a little apart, but we'll still see each other occasionally, it's a small world."

"No, Laura. I mean, I _can't_ lose you."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want Austin and Ally to end and knowing I didn't do this, to know that I didn't let you know."

"Ross, didn't let me know what?" her eyebrows lower in concern as her voice drops as well, I laugh a little at how oblivious she is.

I take a step toward her, and hold her chin so her gaze is directly on mine, I let my eyes slip to her lips for a second and then I return to her beautiful eyes that look at me with concern and worry, I breathe out and my heart keeps beating from under my diaphragm. "That I'm in love with you," I whisper, my voice is hoarse but I know she heard me.

I'm too scared to hear what she has to respond, so I lean forward and press my lips to her, holding her face between my hands, and just as I feel disappointed and want to pull away, she comes to life and kisses me back, placing her hands on my face and I can feel her smiling.

I can't breathe, I can't breathe because I feel too nervous and admitting her those things make me want to puke everything I ate at the party, so I pull away and keep my forehead on hers, with my eyes closed, just mixing our breaths as I let out a quiet breathy laugh.

"I'm in love with you Ross Lynch." Laura whispers in our little intimacy. I open my eyes and I look at her, and she's smiling at me softly, pulling her hands away from my face and wrapping them around my neck, pulling her body to flush with mine.

"You are?" I ask stupidly, but it all feels unreal, I feel as if I'm still fifteen and I'm just daydreaming on the way to my first day on set.

"You weren't the only one who was scared," she replies and I take a moment before I kiss her, and fully kiss her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her whole entire body up with me so we're nose to nose, her arms loosen and her hands go into my hair, pulling it.

And suddenly, I need more, I crave it, I bite her lip and tug it and she opens her mouth to me, as I explore her mouth. I put her down on the ground once more and press her body into mine, holding her body too close to mine on a set of a Disney show.

It's not enough, it's still not enough and I feel greedy but I pull away and enjoy her lost gaze as her eyes return to mine confuse. I pull her into an embrace and start leaving a small trail of kisses on her neck and her jaw, and she sighs.

"I don't think we can continue this on a Disney set..." I mutter against her skin and she shakes her head and sighs in response.

"Let's go to my house." Laura pulls away and looks me in the eye.

I can't grab her hand fast enough as we walk away from the set and the whole party and leave to the parking lot before she stops me tells me she's still wearing a purple dress.

* * *

Laura assured me that her father would be with Vanessa and her mother was still at the party with everyone else, we honestly had ditched everyone, the cast, the crew, our families but as Laura opened the door and lead me into her darkened house holding my hand, it felt like it was completely worth it.

We walk to her bedroom and I just grab her and start kissing her before she has even opened the door, so it takes a few moments of trying to find the handle before we can go in.

I do a cliché of pushing her up the door and begin to kiss her neck lightly, tugging at her shirt then bunching it all at her stomach and touching her warm skin, Laura pushes me from the door and takes her shirt off and throwing it at some corner of the room. I need to stop myself before I shout something inappropriate.

I think my reaction was a little over the top when she starts giggling at my face which must be wide with a comical sense that would seem to belong to a cartoon; she walks back towards me, running her hands under my shirt.

"Off." She smiles seductively and the whole situation gets a little harder before she kisses me again.

"Fine, yes, of course, I never liked that shirt" I stumble and she looks up at me confused, I have to admit I feel like she's more cool with the whole thing than I am. I pull my shirt off and wrap myself around Laura again, pulling her to me as my knees find the corner of the bed as I fall with her on top of me.

* * *

I'm heaving, or breathing or a strange mix off the two with Laura cuddled onto my chest, suffering through the same breathing problems as I am. I look at the ceiling and then from the corner of my eye, I look down to her and she's looking at me, pressing her lips to my chest and to where she can reach, I press my lips to her forehead.

She's so innocent and pure, amazing and so beautiful and she's lying here with me, with _me_ and the only thing that is actually covering us is her bed sheet in her bedroom as we escaped our season finale wrap party so we could be together.

I feel like she's dozing off, so I wrap my arms around her and breathe in and try to sleep.

But my mind wanders off to several different places instead of an unconscious.

I'm leaving for tour soon, a world tour to be precise, and what's she going to do? She's just going to wait for me here? Missing all the important dates she should share with her -dare I call myself- _boyfriend_ because I'm just off parading countries in Europe while she's here for a while.

Well, she did tell everyone she had an audition for an indie movie, that's still going on.

But she still has school, and even after it's over, she won't be able to see me, because I would have to record the second album and see through songs and we also have rehearsals and more venues, how would all this add up with Laura in it. She would always be supportive of me and whatever I do, while she gets hate and gets attacked by "my fans"

I can't give her a relationship that doesn't feel like one.

What have I done?

I feel so selfish and disgusted with myself as Laura's all cuddled up with me, and suddenly I need to leave, I need to get of here as quick as I can, so I pull away from Laura and start getting dressed. As I'm putting on my shoes, I hear her.

"Ross?" she starts to sit up, the sheet pooling at her sides but covering her chest. "Why are you leaving?" She's quiet and starts clearing her eyes "Stay with me."

"I can't." I need a shitty excuse, or else she'll feel like I've used her, "I don't want your mom to see us."

"Just keep your clothes on, she trusts me." She smiles and whispers "Stay with me tonight. Please? I want you to stay with me tonight." she walks over and starts to pick up her clothes and puts them on lazily before grabbing my hand and trying to lead me back to the bed.

I stop before she can pull me to her; I stop and drop her hand. "I can't, Laura, this is wrong-"

"What are you talking about?"

I sigh, it's better to cut this off now then to wait for it to happen later. "Laura, this isn't going to work out." Her face falls and then it rises in confusion before grabbing my hand again.

"What's wrong? You can always tell me, Ross, you can trust me," her grip on my hands suddenly tightens and then loosens again. I pull away, and I don't allow myself to look her in the eyes

"Not this time Laura" I finish putting on my sneakers and then turn around and I can't manage to take a few steps before she stops me.

"Don't leave me standing here, Ross. Don't say that, what's wrong?" I turn around and she looks so worried and so confused, I look at the window instead of at her for a moment and breathe.

"Laura, I-" I swallow, she's isn't going to understand, she's going to continue to support me and support us. "We're both too busy for this right now, it wouldn't work out." I start to walk away, the door seems so close but every step makes my feet feel like they've been injected with lead.

_Please don't stop me, please make this easier for both of us. Please, Laura._

My plead falls to empty ears

"So you're just going to walk away, just walk away and leave whatever happened just hanging here. Alright Ross, have it your way." her voice spits at me, but I hear it wavering and her shaky breathing; if I turn around I'm going to regret it. If I turn around I'm going to regret it.

I need to respond, but everything it seems like there's only one way out of this but my mind doesn't function correctly and my voice works faster than my head.

"I already got what I wanted from you, didn't I?"

No. _No. _Not that. Anything but that, take it back. Take it back. That isn't you. Take it back.

She gasps.

"Fuck you, Ross Lynch." she hisses.

"It looks like you already have." I turn around and keep walking away.

* * *

It didn't take anything short of a few minutes of leaving the house to realize that I had made a huge mistake.

* * *

_**To Laura: **_

_**Laura I'm sorry.**_

* * *

_**To Laura:**_  
_**Laura I didn't mean it.**_

* * *

_**To Laura:**_  
_**Laura I'm so sorry.**_

* * *

_**To Laura:**_  
_**I love you so much Laura.**_

* * *

_**To Laura:**_  
_**Laura please**_

* * *

_**To Laura:**_  
_**Laura I need you**_

* * *

_**To Laura:**_  
_**Laura I'm an idiot.**_

* * *

_**To Laura:**_  
_**Laura**_

* * *

_**To Laura:**_  
_**Laura I love you**__**  
**_

* * *

I go on tour. She starts filming movies.

We get a season four and all I receive from her is a group text saying

_**From Laura:**_  
_**AHHHH! JUST GOT THE NEWS FROM RAINI (I am so late.) SO EXCITED! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ALL OF YOU AGAIN. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! :D :D :D**_

And I can't think of writing anything that isn't the truth back to her.

_**To Laura: **_  
_**I'm sorry you got stuck with me for another season.**_

* * *

I wake up, meet fans, perform get drunk and go to parties so I can get even drunker. It's begins to feel like a very unhealthy routine but it's all I can manage to do, I'm eighteen and the countries I go to it's the legal age to drink so I don't have anyone breathing down my neck telling me not to. And when I go to bed every night, I'm reminded of what happened that night and I can't sleep.

I take a drink every time Laura accomplishes something to prove to myself that I've royally fucked up and she's moved on.

She does a movie.

I take a drink.

She finishes high school, with honors

I take a drink. (Two, maybe three because I didn't go.)

She starts to go to other charities and organizations.

I take a drink.

She films another movie.

I take another drink.

* * *

We release an E.P. that I'm extremely proud of but I manage with only one thought stuck in my head, the last song on it, it was for her, it was all I want her to see and all I needed for her to hear and to understand it. What will she think? Will she understand? Will she flip me off? Or will she just ignore it?

And after days of seeing her post about one of the other songs and not saying absolutely anything to me about _her_ _song, _which she would clearly understand that it was hers, it was what she said, what she had screamed at me and what I've been screaming to myself for the past few months.

I take the first step, consciously knowing that she doesn't really want to speak to me at all, I call her but she doesn't answer and I'm sent straight to voicemail, my first thought to just hang up but then I realize it's the only thing I have left for now.

"Hey Laura," I whisper, speaking just seems like I'm coming on too strong right now. "Did you hear it? Did you hear the song I wrote for you? I know you have... I just want to know how you feel about it." I keep whispering and the silent line of the other side as her flip phone records my message keeps me at ease.

"I don't want you to hate me," I swallow "You have all the right to, but I don't want you to hate me, I just-" I stumble on my own words because I know everything I'm saying isn't even an excuse for what I did to her "Laura, you need to know how sorry I am. You really need to know. I am so sorry, Laura." I clutch the phone in my hands and lean my face against it. "After you receive this, you don't need to call me back or whatever; I just need to know that you received this, alright? That's the only thing I ask of you. Okay, thank you. Bye."

As I'm about to hang up, I grab the phone and put it back on my ear.

"I can't believe I screwed up so badly that I lost you."

I hang up and toss my phone into the bed, throwing myself onto it as well and lay down, to look at the ceiling and to think.

I'm not sure how long I was there, it could've been minutes, hours or even days but the feeling of something vibrating under my leg woke me up from my daze. I had a message.

* * *

_**From Laura:**_  
_**You should've stayed.**_

* * *

_**To Laura:**_  
_**I should've stayed.**_

* * *

**So that was that.**

**Um, I guess I should say "REVIEW BECAUSE PUPPIES GET HUNGRY IF YOU DON'T"**

**But I'm really not that creative**

**"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."  
― Douglas Adams, _The Salmon of Doubt._**


End file.
